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The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight
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| whooa im lame. |
[30 Sep 2006|02:30pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
wow im really lame! lol. I cant actually believe im updating this thing. I wouldn't be but kyle is busy helping his grandmother move he office to another office so he cant come see me til tonight. yay. i cant wait.
Last night was soo much fun! I got to hang out with my best friend brittany and her awesome boyfriend brendan, who is also hilarious, and I got to hang out with my amazing baby!! it was great. we went to dinner at taco bell b.c me and brittany wanted it and then we walked around belltower, we went to see jackass 2 but they didnt let us in because we were under 17. we got the tickets but they like blocked the door. i was like wtf im 17 in less than a month? ugh. whatever. I saw some people there that I didnt really want to see but at the same time it was good seeing them. It made me realize how happy I am right now and how much I never want to go back. My whole bishop verot friends, personality, and life was FAKE. you know. like I wasnt honest with anybody, they werent honest to me and most of all I wasnt honest to myself. i fooled myself into thinking these people care and I actually care about them when in all reality they didnt and neither did I. I will be the first to admit I was wrong! i did sink down to a low level and I wasn't an honest person. hell half the shit that came out of my mouth was an exaggeration and the only excuse if any i can offer is that i never felt good enough. Like everybody had something i didnt so i made it out like i did. it's all changed though. for the first time I'm happy. I've changed. my friends I have now we are completly honest and kyle and I can tell each other anything! im sitting there waiting for my movie to start and i looked over at these certain people and i smiled. thats my part of my past. a part of me that i hated. I looked over at them laughing and smiling and dancing and thought to myself later on this week, or month, one of them will betray the other. I know because i used to be one of them too. then i looked at brittany, brendan and kyle and said hell, whats there to betray? I'm not trying to insult anyone in this entry. I know for a fact that if someone reads it, theres a possiblitly an arguement will be started b.c insecurity will ge tthe best of them and they will jump to defend themself. well theres nothing to defend b.c ya'll haven't done anything wrong. im guilty of the same shit. and i'll admit it. the only difference is I've changed, moved on, and I will never set foot on verot's campus as a verot student ever again. the only verot student that i truly trust, love and know will never do any wrong is kyle!!!!!
I love my boyfriend sooo much and nothing will ever change how great we are!!! and thats all that matters.
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ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| depression anyone?? |
[07 Mar 2006|08:40pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
I love writing poems of suicidal attempts. dont you love how when ur trust for people fail and you loose hope of any good in the world you in return fail also.
Grab my battered arm
make another slit
think of all my nightmares
make my last death wish
dig into my arm
with a razor that i know
think of all our memories
and how it's my time to go
try to build the pain
and keep it down inside
try to hold the tears
but continuously i cry
listen to the lies
the words that are so fake
talking of stupidity
showing my self-hate
i can not take this
I've held on way to long
I'm giving up this life
i can not be strong
i can not keep on going
and saying I'll be OK
pretending that I'm fine
and going the right way
what is there to say
when people say, how are you
what is there to show
when cuts have only scarred you
well i have no more words
yet nothing seems to end
I'm leaving all of you now
because i can't live pretend...
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ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| random |
[12 Sep 2005|07:52pm] |
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mood |
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 wierdo |
] |
im in a random mood. so im making a random post. about randomness. i love steph and phil they are the hottest couple ever. i love my boyfriend he is amazing. emilee is the sex. abbie is still a whore. i saw mike (abbies ex) at the mall and he looks like ass. abbies new "fling" is fucking hot. how did she pull that. lmfao jk. i might be moving. that sux. jess is still fat. i've gotten the chance to get to know jessica h. lately. its pretty cool i never talked to her that much last year. shes a really cool chick. stephnaie noel is my sweetcheekz and i love her.
purple nematoads will soon rule the world.
thats all kids :)
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4  ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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[17 Jul 2005|01:12pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
25 antihistamines and a glass of water. laying on my bed, slicing away at myself with only one thought on my mind. him.i continue to say dont worry about me im fine. they start to kick in as an hour goes by. i'm feeling content thinking that maybe tonight reality won't consume me. watching the clock as 30 minutes slowly crawl by. hell starts to unfold and the only thing i can think of is him. my entire body begins to itch to the point that i'm twitching and shaking. i try to relax and take a shower. as the night goes on and 4 showers go by i get worse. i begin to ramble on about shopping at publix with justin and being pushed around in carts. i continue to go on about being pushed through goldfish cracker displays and bra shopping at target with my grandmother. around 12:00 midnight i am found sitting in my closet talking to a little girl. she keeps telling me we have to get away from "him". she insists that we dig a hole in the carpet. so, there we were "digging" with our hands in the carpet. after we "got away" i attempted to drink something. all that got me was a stomach and head ache. i layed in bed with the lights off and the black light on and cryed myself to sleep. don't we love to overdose.
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ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| whoa im happy!! a first in like a bazillion years! |
[13 Jul 2005|08:58pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
] |
hey look im gonna do a real update today! actually it doesnt matter b.c like nobody reads or updates these things over summer! lmao! lets see! what happened today: first of all my cousins came into town! they are so great and then to my "suprise" i didnt have to leave for mississippi instead who would have thought: my two like best freinds ever came to visit me!!!!! woot!! lmao! i hung out with them til about 4 then i went to go bowling with ryan...he was of course late so i got stuck waiting for an hour by myself! lmao its all good! i schooled ryan at bowling but then he totally schooled me at pool! i didnt know i sucked so bad! lmao! i saw chris at the bowling alley and tried to get my snowflakes back, but of course he once again refused! i'll get him one of these days! i see that kid everywhere its kinda scary!! its no longer fun to write about ryan b.c he reads this! pssh! who cares he prolly can relate to this considering hes said it too:
ok its kinda freaky like me and ryan have so much in common its scary! lmao! and what freaked me out the most today is that i actually answered his question before he even got it all out! we were both like woah! lmao! krazeeness! but im not complaining because its awesome! we never run out of stuff to talk about and we always find ways to make each other laugh! of course a lot of the time we are insulting each other but its funny! i have so much fun hanging out with him! even though he tells me he did it cuz he was bored and he tells me he hates me all the time! lmao jkjk! sry i'll be nice! lmao!! well lets see what else is there to write.......nothing! i guess that means until next time!
♥Lauren!
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4 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| ha |
[28 Apr 2005|07:29pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
] |
verot is gay! i never wanna go back to that gay retarded school! miss eskay is retarded adn she got me,kamrin,jackie,and nicole suspened for no apparant reason! i felt so bad because truthfully i never even said anything to her! i just laughed at nicole! and if u were there u would have laughed too! she was being hilarious! but miss eskay on the contray didnt find it humorous and she suspended us from class because she has a broom in her ass! i hate her! i did somehow beg my way out of a detention from egri martin! that was pretty cool! i got my mom to lie for me! hahah!well one plus to the week is that i have a date friday! lol! yes! he's really cute! i cant wait! emilee is coming over and we are gonna hang out too! i love her! lmao! well im gonna go! ttyl! hey look i got a gay myspace thingy!! haha check it out!
http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=10839621&Mytoken=20050428163916
later!
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6 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| i love green day |
[18 Apr 2005|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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 ditzy |
] |
omg!! the green day concert was amazing!!! i had soooooo much fun!! billie joe mooned the audience which totally turned me on! lmao! i got all the way to the front and almost died!! haha! i met this dude andrew and he brought me to the front!! he lived I almost died so i went back with steph! steph got hit on by this really hott guy!! YAY for steph!!!! lmao!! as soon as i can upload my pics i'll put them on this site!! yes!!! well thats all! i dont feel like typing alot today!!!
-HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!!!!!! I <3 U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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4 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| yo yo yo |
[13 Apr 2005|04:39pm] |
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mood |
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jelous much? |
] |
wow today sucked ass! i got an ISS because im stupid and got to many detentions! haha yaya for me! i got to serve it on friday! lmao! then i get two saturdays! lmao it wont be that bad im serving them with my russian whore dolly!! lmao i <3 u! lol!! well i totally failed a test in math today! that sux! i think i broke my finger! i was walking into english and i fell up the stairs! god im a genius! lmao!!! omfg the stupid ass spanish teacher thinks im depressed it soooo funny! im like no i just hate ur class!! im like always happy r u high!!?? well im gonna go!
comment!!!!! I <3 U!!!!!
p.s: Lisa i know ur going through a rough time right now and i just want you to know that im always here for you! im one call away!!! if you ever need me to do ANYTHING even if im extremly busy i'll be there!!!
I <3 U and everything will work out or the best ;)
<3Lauren
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4 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| happiness=lonleness.......go figure! |
[02 Apr 2005|01:52pm] |
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mood |
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i fee like shit! |
] |
chris is a jerk and i hope i never see him again!!!! i went to the beach with abbie and mike on wednesday and i ran into my two favorite ppl sara and lisa (my lovers) it was soo much fun! me and sara stalked this hott guy that worked for some music thingy! i couldnt get close enough to talk to him though! lmao sry sara! we'll get someone else! lmao! well it was all fun until i saw chris! now heres the deal! i talked to chris earlier that day on the phone and asked him what he was doing that day! and he's like oh im grounded and im like ok to bad maybe another time! and he's like yeah def.! im like aweswome! well i got to the beach and i saw him and some other chick holding hands and kissing! i was soo crushed! its realy wierd! i don't like really like guys often! like im never nervous around guys and when i really like a guy i get really nervous to talk to them and be around them! i was so nervous to talk to chris i really liked him! go figure i find a guy i realy like and he ends up being a total player! whatever! i'm getting really tired of all this though! im tired of tagging along abbie and mike everywhere! i dont want to be the fucking third wheel! i've never been like this before but im getting tired of this! i dont know im just really bummed about this whole thing! i know one thing though i have awesome freinds!! Sara and lisa u guys rock!! sara called chris an asshole like right to his face!! im like omg i love u!! lmao!!! well im gonna go i'll mope around later!!
</3 Lauren
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12 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| and then there were 2.......... |
[26 Mar 2005|08:00pm] |
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mood |
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 soo happy!!!!! |
] |
hmmm.......this has been a very stressful yet fun week! we are moving and we have to be out of our house tommorow! so all day i've been killing myself packing up my room! lmao! yesterday was fun! i went to the mall at like 11 with mike and caitlin! then at 1 me caitlin and mike went back to my house and packed some! then we all went back to the mall at like 5 and stayed til 6:30! then caitling sis came and picked us up! omgsh at the mall it was soo funny! lol!! mike and caitlin made me look like a total idiot in front of chris but who cares! this was the convo.!
Mike: hey chris! u do know laurens here right?
Chris: really? where is she? (and he starts looking for me, lol, nad mike and caitlin said he got like a really big smile on his face <3 he's so cute)
Mike: she's over at dillards hiding behind the sign
Caitlin: yeah shes being shy!
Chris: laughs and says tell her to come over here!
mike comes over to get me and i slapped him really hard! it was funny! ok theres more and its even stupider! lol!
i walked over
Chris: hola senorita
me: omgsh spanish! hola senor que pasa?
Chris: haha im not that good in spanish!
me: haha
Chris: so what are u doing tonight
me: movies with these two doofs! haha!
Chris: awesoem what movie
me: hell if i know!
then caitlin like orders pretzels and he makes her pay and im like ok i want an ice cream! lol! i went to give him the money and this is the convo!
Chris: i dont want that
me: why
chris: i just dont
me: please take it! i dont feel right!
chris: i cant take it out of ur hands!
me: *i put it in mikes hands* ok now can u take it?
chris: no its still ur money!
me: omgsh please
chris: laughs, no its against the rules!
me: what rules?
chris: the rules!
me: ok whatever!
he hands me the ice cream and like a million napkins
caitlin: why r u giving her so many napkins do u think shes that messy?
chris: probably
Me: oh thanks
chris: haha jk
mike: omg she is messy really messy! i was at her house and she got chocolate all over her face and on her shirt!
me: mike shut up u liar!
chris: laughs!
then a customer came and i sorta left without sayin bye! i kinda feel bad but heys its alright! lol! then i went to the movies and saw the ring 2 with steph and austin! lol! fun times! then i went home and went to sleep! fun fun! im gonna go now because i dont feel like typing an extrremly long entry all about chris even though thats like all i've written about lately! lol!! i really like him and im soo happy i met him! i have the coolest friends! if it wasnt for abbie, dolly,and emilee none of this would have happened because i wouldnt have had the nerve to talk to him! i love u guys! lol!!!! talk to ya'll later! call me if u wanna do n e thing over spring break! i have like no plans execpt beach on wednesday so call me if u wanna go or do something! 6943267<---thats my own phone line and then 8980743<----thats the cell! call me!!
comment ya'll!
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5 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| | yeah dude i rock | |
[22 Mar 2005|07:55pm] |
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mood |
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 so happy! |
] |
hm.... i got a lot of updating to do! ok well here we go, i'll start at sunday! sunday i woke up all excited because i knew i was going to get to go out with chris that night! i went to church but of course god really wasn't on my mind (GOD FORGIVE ME) lmao! i went to the mall and bought the CUTEST outfit for the night! i walked over to the pretzel place but chris wasnt working :( i got hom and like at 3:30 chris calls me and tells me that he is grounded and cant go n e where! i was really bummed but then he told me but we'll definitly ned to get together soon! so i was happy! lmao! ok monday i went to school and it sucked! chris didn't call mer and neither did abbie and mike! i felt unloved and sad! lmao! today: omg today was fun! skool went by really fast for some reason! ok after school i went to the mall with emilee! we went over to pretzel time and emilee and i got free pretzels! i saw tonia and damien and i gave them my pretzel because i don't like pretzels! yeah i know gay or what...date the pretzel guy and hate pretzels! lmao! chris' friend kept giving us evil glares and then laughing at me! i was like wtf?lol he's really cool! then i ran into nikkie and she like jumpred on me! im like wow happy to see u too! she's so cute!! then i ran into my beautiful LISA! lmao! she's so great! we had so much fun being stupid and running up the down escalader! lmao! ! ran into mikey wikey! shopped around with him for a special something! not telling! secret secret! lmao! then mike's mom came and so did mine! i talked to mikes mom with mike for a little bit and then me and emilee went to go find my mom! i had her meet me at dilards just for fun! Emilee and I made it REALLY obvious that i was leaving! i'm like bye emilee and shes like bye lauren call me! lol! and i kept doing the cool call me sign and i glanced over and he was like straing at us! lmao! fun fun! lol! well it was fun! im gonna go because chris just called me!! yay! lmao!!
I <3 You!!!!
comment biatches!
<3Lauren!
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23 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| mmm k |
[18 Mar 2005|05:00pm] |
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mood |
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hehehe |
] |
Ok this week has been incredible! Monday I met this awesome guy! He is totally great and I like him a lot!!! Tuesday I talked to him for 3 hours and he asked me to go to the beach but I couldn’t go because of school! Darn it! Wednesday abbie and mike broke up but then they got back together after like 2 hours! Lmao! Chris asked me to go to the movies with him on Sunday cuz he has to work till 10 Friday and Saturday! Of course I said yes! Lmao! Thursday I didn’t get to talk to Chris! I don’t know if he didn’t call or if my phone was on silent again and I wasn’t paying attention! I was sad! Then Friday morning I had a message from him saying he couldn’t wait til Sunday! Im like score me neither! He is supposed to be going to the beach today but I don’t think he went b.c its rainy outside! I didn’t want him to go n e way because then he might like meet another chick at the beach that I more than likely don’t compare to because im not that pretty! Lol! I hate it that he works so late! I cant talk to him til like 10 and by then im like tired! Lol!! goodness! Well that’s all mi amors! I’ll write more later!
Comment chikas! And chikos? Lol!
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9 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| blah |
[14 Mar 2005|07:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 im so nervous |
] |
ok my week has gotten soooo much better!! lol!! my grandfather is coming home tommorow which is a very goodthing!! lol!! hm...what news do i have,, ohh!! ok let me tell you about the pretzel time guy!! yes! he is extremly gorgeus!! lol!! well i was a tthe mall with emilee,abbie, and doll, now i am not that straight forward when it comes to guys..i usually wait for them to approach me or something n e wyas...me and emilee were counting how many times he looked over (9 times to be exact) and everytime he looked over we both of course squeeled and laughed! lol!! this lady beghind us was laughing at us and she's like um..if u want i could go talk to him...well im like no no no no no over and over again whereas dolly abbie and emilee were screaming yes! so of course being the genious i am...i ran into the closest store! lol!! well the lady went and talked to him and came back to me and said he wants to talk to you! im like omgsh really?? and she's like yeah! so emilee kinda pushed me over and i talked to him for a little bit!! his name is chris and he is a senior at north ft.myers!! i was lykewaoh! lmao!! we finished talking because his boss called and he had to get back to work and he's like well im gonna give you my number call me sometime!! and im like OK OK!! lmao!! i was soo efffin nervous and im probably going to be to nervous to call him tonight!! im so confussed though b.c i dont want to like sound desperate when i call him!! abbie and emilee says dont call him till like tommorow or wednesday and dolly and mike say call him tonight! hmm... what should i do?? lmao!! well im gonna go!! comment and tell me what you think!!!
much love!!
<33Lauren
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29 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| sad |
[10 Mar 2005|07:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crushed |
] |
omgsh im having the worst day ever! i just found out that my grandfather is dieing and its really hard because im really close with him...i just dont know whats going to happen! I've been crying for the past 3 hours!! Abbie is on the phone with me and she is really helping me to feel better!! I LOVE YOU ABBIE YOU ARE DEF. MY BFFE!! steph, chris, aaron, justin, and jess have also helped met hrough this!! i love you all! I nevetr thought this would be so hard!! it makes u appreciate the small things in life though!! i always thought ppl were crazy when they cried for hours and hours ver a death but i never understood, now i do and i totally see where they are coming from! I dont know its a lot harder when it happens to you! i never thought that it would and now it is! well im gonna go!! see ya later! tommorow im going to abbies house which will def. help me b.c i really need a friend right now!! ilu!
<3Lauren
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7 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| pssh |
[08 Mar 2005|05:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hmmm |
] |
I think im moving to michigan..............
scary thought i know
but i kinda want to move......
but then i kinda dont.....
wow i feel really like schizo rite now
and
i cant spell
>..< duhlykewoahplz
_Lauren_
i know im so amuesing... ;) lmao!!
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5 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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| lalala |
[02 Mar 2005|08:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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muah |
] |
ok just updating to say im like on total house arrest!! lol!! abbie gets to come over tommorow and thats it!! lol!! my grades are as follows:
SPANISH- F
ENGLISH- F
RELIGION- D ???dont know how, im just good like that!
HISTORY- C
MATH- eh B
wow am i smart or wut!! lol!! wuteva!! at least i get to go to the fair and hang out with my abs!! lol!! love u!! ok well now im gonna go clean my room so that i can suck up to my mom so that i can go to mikey wikeys house on friday!! me him abbie and emilee!! woah gang bang!! lmao jkjkjk!!
JUST FOR LISA AND SARA: i'd rather be a lesbian!! yes!!
~i love u sara and i hope everything works out for you!! u rock my socks chika and i'd date u if i were lesbo!! ;) lmao!!
much love,
Lauren
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12 ArE On tHe BouLeVarD oF brOkEn DreAms..
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